Missing Spring Break

Well I missed my last opportunity for the "Spring Break." Ah well it was over-rated anyways. Here is a short passage from my diary while on my spring break at home.

3.8.3011 I never thought it would be me. I used to look at those poor saps and think, “I will never let that happen to me.” I read in the books how people give up their futures and love to stay with the sick and ailing loved one to give them a longer life or to help in their suffering. In this time and age, The day after I graduate is supposed be my time to get out there on my own and find my place in the world. I am finding that I will be drawn back home to care for my ailing mother. She has physical handicaps; heart palpitations, diabetes and all the things related to that. And her age has given her bad hips and backs. Then on top of that are the mental problems. She is bi-polar to say the least and she must at least be schizophrenic with that. All the combinations of problems make it that she is struggling and not getting by. I fear that if I should let her alone she will not only die she will die alone and in a horrible situation. She can lose the home, her support, her friends, her mind, and eventually her family. I know already that I am alone in holding this sinking ship. My brother has been alienated from her because of her paranoia. On top of that he is the younger sibling and I don’t think it is his turn to be sacrificial. As cliché as that sounds I have the perfect imaginary for the situation. I am in the next boat over with only a few holes and sinking only a little with the small amount of cargo aboard. Then my mother’s boat is next to me not only is it riddled with holes and slowly sinking but the massive amount of clutter in the boat is dragging it down faster. Instead of staying in my own safe boat that has little holds to drown me, I get aboard the second and tie a rope to my own. The holes are debt. The clutter is life and its curveballs. The holes need to be filled in both ships at the same time to save the both of us.

 It's somewhat sad and morose. I believe I was feeling just a tad bit that day. This saturday was fun though and it cheered me up immensely. It was St.Patty's Day and I actually got to party it up like a typical Senior on St.Patty's day. Though I think I enjoyed my Friday better. i just got to hang out with a friend and no drinking was involved.