Tuesday, June 19, 2012 The best of Times

  Positive attitude goes far! Keeping oneself busy worked! Just working in housekeeping was a large step and of course I was going to take anything including the “labor” job. I thought the housekeeping work would continue for a good six months before I went on to front desk and needed to get a second job in the meantime but yesterday I was asked if I wanted to be trained. I like to believe that they were impressed with my resume and how I behaved. Making people laugh always makes an impression. I enjoy doing that.
       Being involved with your college afterwards is a kind and generous action. By helping a college student after the college part, you create loyalists. It is also great to get people interested in this great place that I’ve lived my entire life (though I barely know what is going on or where anything is as I learned the hard way). The Upper Peninsula has a lot to offer or it can have great potential. The Marquette area alone is brimming with business and is expanding. The culture and history is packed. The recreation and the small time living is peaceful or action packed if you look in the right place. Man, I love this place. I will always work here and live here (though I plan on visiting and living in the rest of the world as well). I think I’ve digressed again but frankly I don’t care. I’m too happy! 

My photo of the Tahquamanon Falls

Networking pays off (I’m sure everyone already knows it). Keep up with your friends (I’m not supporting to use them but you never know when some knowledge from a friend can help). On the other hand, it is a tight line of sadness that you can’t get a job unless you know someone who knows someone. Well, right now I am not complaining. I’m just nervous and I’m hoping I don’t disappoint. There is that slight pressure if this person thinks you are good enough to give a recommendation that you have to live up to. At least today they were saying something that everyone who worked with me that I was kind and good natured. I’m sort of improvising on the word choice since I can’t remember exactly what they said about me. How does one accept compliments like that? Frankly, I suck at taking compliments.

Thursday June 14th 2012 "Whistle while you work"

“Things will work out,” “I always land on my feet,” and “it will be what it will be” are all my favorite sayings right now. I’m being more positive in my days. I’m working as hard as I can at my job and at my home. I’m trying to get things done around the house. In this week alone, I’ve cleaned out my fridge, took tacky wallpaper in one of my spare bedrooms down, grabbed unnecessary clutter of my mother’s off the walls, and helped a friend clean out her car. That is on top of keeping up with laundry, dishes, and sweeping the floors. Doing all this extra work is good for me. It really would be for anybody. I believe that if you do work when you are feeling the stress from life, you build up good energy that can only help you feel better. There must be a study out there that states this as well.

I love this!!! I was looking for a snow white working since "whistle while you work" was in my head. Check out the work!

6.5.2012 Blogging outline

A good friend and mentor reminded me of something that I said to her one time. I had once said that I was the weird girl. In some circles, I am that weird girl. In some circles, I even might not be weird enough. Most of the time though, I am that weird girl in the group. This is the kind of girl who can escape into her own little worlds of books, movies, and imagination. This is the kind of girl who will struggle to find something that connects her to other people. My mentor however said that I am not that cookie-cutter girl and that being weird is just another way to say that I’m interesting. She had a lot more to say about the kind of girl that I am and frankly it felt wonderful. So let me say this a little differently. I’M WIERD AND PROUD!

I also realize that my blog has been tending to be just a little dark and frightening. I don’t mean for it to be. This mentor mentioned that blogs are opportunities to purge and cathartic. Really the blog are posts of my diary that I wanted to post. The actual diary on my computer has a few entries that will never see the internet but are for my own eyes. Maybe I should have edited more from the posts that were transfered to the blog. The blog should have a few different aspects then what is in a diary purge. There should be a little bit more of the good and have more of my thoughts, art work, and observations. I think I have strayed a little bit. The blog was just becoming a tad bit like a diary and that wasn’t to be what I had intended. Hopefully, you understand what I’m rambling about. Also I hope that I can bring this back on track.

Today for example, I had motivation training. Maybe it wasn’t motivation training but it was definitely a group meeting to create ideas and encourage everyone to work hard to better the guest service. Today’s theme was about making it personal for the guests. I always struggle with these kinds of meetings. While it was useful to hear the goal from everyone working at the here, I keep thinking “that is just basic customer service.” Basic customer service to me is to smile to the guests, patrons, customers; to ask how they are doing; suggest what they would like and ask if they did when they return; to anticipate their needs before they know they need them; being detail orientated; and asking them if there is anything else I can do for them. As a housekeeper, I haven’t had much interaction with the guests. Mostly they are already gone before I’m doing their room. However for the few that I’ve bumped into I am sad to say that I don’t think I fully succeeded. I smiled of course and was courteous but I’m warring with something. To me servants and workers, like a housekeeper, should be invisible. It’s my weirdness coming out. I mean I want to be that housekeeper that can work fast in the room, quietly, and complete everything to the satisfaction of the guest and myself. It is in all my books how the staff is invisible. I’m trying to fight the instinct to be quiet and there for the guest. I’m also fighting the instinct not to ask so many questions that it actually is a bother to the guests. Don’t pretend that you are unaware of what I’m talking about.

What my new bedroom looks like right now

5.31.2012 Writing and Weddings

People have told me my kind of writing is interesting and great. I have always thought of it that they are just being nice, but I had a secret dream to write a story. I think the only story that I can write it will have to be from a first person perspective. It has to be something a lot like this journal. I feel like that is the only way that my writing will be at least that tad bit interesting. I keep trying to dabble in writing something. I have some neat story-lines though they lack certain mystery and professionalism. I think that while I had said that those who read my blog entries and said they were the best they ever read as being kind, I let their words inflate a dream of writing a story. I almost wish I could write a story and have it published to make money. Then some of my worries would be lessened.

Tonight is nothing special. I am tired after working as a housekeeper. Who knew how hard it is to keep the rooms clean. I had to make a separate trip to town when my friend called and asked a favor. Of course I jumped to help. I broke my own personal speeding limit and drove 70 to 80 mph to get to town before the banks closed. I was there with five minutes to spare. I was even there before my friend. Being the kind person that I am, I went in to have the work started till my friend got there five minutes later. It was good that the teller is someone that both of us know. At least she wasn't held too many minutes past the time that the bank was supposed to close. 

I think I started to brag a little. My pride of being such a kind person to waste my gas to deliver something that my friend forgot, might be a downfall since really if I was the best person I wouldn’t be speaking of the favor this way.

From Internet



One last thought though that I wanted to discuss and I keep putting it off. Tomorrow I’m going downstate for a cousins wedding. I’m nervous as ever. I shouldn’t be. I've been telling everyone I’m going because I think I’ve put some hype with the fact that I’m going to a wedding. However, that isn’t the only reason why I’m nervous. I’m scared shitless of crowds and I know that there is going to be a lot of people that I don’t know. I can only pray that there is going to be someone that is cute, single, and interested in me. I also am hoping for an open bar. Frankly, any bride that tries to have a dry reception is crazy in my books. The only thing that makes these celebrations manageable is the free drinks that come. At least I’m going to feel a little better because of what I’m wearing. That is always a major thing for me. It's not that I'm fashionable or snobbish but if I feel like my clothes blend in then that is one thing I am confident for. This is all sounding bad though. The wedding is supposed to be a celebration of two peoples commitment and happiness and I can only think of the bar. Hopeless....

5.30.2012 Fears and Escape

Mom is getting nervous. She doesn’t know how we are going to cover all our bills. Frankly she has a point. I don’t have enough hours at the Hotel. I mean most weeks I’m working four days in a row. That is good right? It is part time though and probably the pay is minimum. I really have to get a second job to pay for this house. Yay responsibilities! She was proposed to by her good friend to offer to rent the entire house at $800 a month. However, that would mean I would have to move again. I would also have to force my good friend out as well since I have her living her now as well. I really do have plans for this place. Am I really being that selfish? Can I imagine that I can make it through the years? Should I suck up my pride and apply at taco bell? I would be returning to the one position that I swore that I would never return once I had my college degree. I feel like it is out of the question to move again so soon especially after getting my job. I will have to get that second job....

My fears are taking over. I think I’m getting stressed and panicky. That is not a good combo. I’m trying to smile and lose myself in my different worlds. Now while I freak you out with that comment, I only mean my movies, tv shows, and stories. I think I keep putting everything off but sooner or later it is going to come down that I am going to have to face everything. I think I am wishing for someone to take care of me, preferably someone with lots and lots of money. Now I shall add gold digger to my list of sins. Why not? At least I would be a gold digger of principals and faithfulness. 

A sample from internet

I wish I had more cheerful things to talk about. I feel like I’m secluding myself. I’m also pulling my close friend with me. She loves social things so I don’t think I can completely destroy her.

I did draw again after such a long hiatus. I had drawn a picture of my friend. Her little sister liked what I did, so for the her birthday I did a small drawing of her. I think it turned out close to looking like her though my friend hadn’t recognized her. That kind of sucked, but meh. It was my "poor man’s" gift. I did that and I also taught her an art project that I learned last year. It involves shaving cream, food coloring, and paper. It is really neat and probably a great project for children to learn. Just look for the youtube instructions on line by using the keywords "art project, shaving cream, food coloring, and paper."





A sample of a finished project from internet

 

5.28.2012 Working and Cleaning

I needed to work. Like I said before, I really would work anywhere. Well I got a job as a housekeeper. I have a four year education and I’m a housekeeper. Never saw that one coming. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging the job as bad. Frankly I’m not cut out for it. It takes a lot of memorization and detail orientation to do a good job. While I am detail orientated it and I'm getting the hang of it, there is also a lot of work.What really is going to kill me is the idea that I also have to be fast at getting it done. There are actual time limits for separate rooms. Amazing! I also look at this as an idea of getting more experience and really one can work up from being a maid. Just look at what happened in the Maid in Manhattan with Jennifer Lopez. Maybe not the best example but it’s all I’m picturing. Cheesy me, but if I’m going to survive I have to give myself some kind of dream.

In other news I’m really keeping up with making myself busy. I’ve worked on decorating my childhood home. I don’t know if I mentioned that. The purple that used to be my girlhood has been replaced by antique rosewood and a beige/grey on opposite walls for my adult life. I’ve got great plans to make the room an escape and a comfortable one at that. I already have the full size bed, dresser, antique trunk, and desk set up. I only have to make a headboard for bed, buy an armoire to be able to hide my clothes I hang up, line the antique trunk with cloth, cover the end tables with cloth, hang a chandelier, and get the curtains and bedding to match. Oh and I should probably do something about the flooring since right now it is just the plywood that used to be under the carpet. I’ll probably use a cheaper version and stick wooden flooring down. I’m not going carpet in here but I want a Persian rug. Yep, those are all my ideas. I keep joking saying it going to be a sultry room but it is more earthen and inspiring. As long as the shrines to cats are gone I think I made a major step. 

Speaking of the massive amount of cat paraphernalia, my new roomie (best friend who needed a place to stay) went through the spare room between us. My mother was using it as storage for most of the stuff she had moved out of my room and her things as well. We kept my mother out of our decisions but for a few items. We overhauled most of the items by ourselves. We got a good half of the room cleaned out. However that only means that there are two piles downstairs that need to be moved outside. One pile that is for keepsakes and the other is to be gotten rid of (my mother insists on giving it to her sister to sell at her rummage sale store). I’m proud to say the keepsake pile is a good half size as the get rid of one. I’m proud only because that means I’m able to get rid of so much. I’m not holding on to things right now. It’s great news because I’m starting to fear that I will hold on too much. I don’t want to horde or think that everything is important to keep. Of course I do hold on. Just take my living situation. I’m still in this house even though it would have made my mother’s life so much easier to sell. Am I selfish? Most likely, though I do have some good reasons for making her stay, but I won’t get into that. 

One of the things that I found today was a journal. We had a good laugh at my writing back then. Frankly, I had forgotten that I did. I mean I thought the first time I wrote anything was during my Lithuania trip in 2007. Apparently in 1999, I dabbled with putting my thoughts down. Okay, not really my thoughts. It was the typical “I woke up; I did this and I did that.” For a ten year old the fact that there were some added thoughts on top of that means I was going somewhere with the writing. The funniest parts were the ending when I wrote things like, “then I, Samantha Morin, went to bed.” With that past note, I’m off to bed right now.